So, ya'll are thinking, "Zones results, Zones results!" aren't you! Well, first we should probably tip toe back over to the Maryland Masters' Swim Series Championship for a quick recap. Yup, the Swim Series Champs were held March 21st and we can do get this out of the way pronto! Besides, Zone results aren't up yet (Shhhh! We're telling stories!).

A quick tip of the hat to Barney Lynch! Barney Cowboy'ed Up and answered the call! Barney swims in the 25 to 29 year old age group with Monte Lewis and James Crowder. Here's the story: It's getting tougher and tougher to establish a "Hat Trick" in some of the age groups, and the 25 to 29 year old group is one of the team's tough slots. Hat Tricks, as we all know, is when a swimmer is dominate enough in the non-free events to scoop up the 50, 100, and 200 team records. James "Wimpy" Crowder has been interested in branding a "Hat Trick" with his name on it here in the short course yards division, but that's just a bit difficult to do! Yup, another analogy might be that Wimpy's looking to climb on up into this particularly big saddle and last nine seconds with that wild bronco aptly named "Hat Trick"!

We find James pondering his dilemma while perusing the record books. It's looking grim. Emad Elshafei's there in his age group. So is Russell Perkins. Chris Benedick. Hmmmm. All have lightening fast times is particular slots across the boards.

Then, James suddenly sees an opportunity in the breaststroke events! James already owns the 100 breast. He's already taken Barney out earlier in the season in the 50 breast! Wimpster's elated! He can ride roughshod over the 200 breast record that's currently held by Barney Lynch! And, to boot, it appears he's lassoed himself a firm grip for that ride on "Hat Trick"!

James signs up for the 200 breast at the Swim Series Champs.

Queue the Western music (Italian spaghetti, preferred). Hear the clink of spurs, and feel dry dust in the back of your palate. A tall shadow appears. It's Barney Lynch. Yup, he's returned to the pool. He's agreed to take on that upstart's challenge in the 200 breaststroke. There's going to be a duel in them thar' pool!

Not much is known about that fateful swim on that particular day. Folks still talk about Barney showing up in these parts, again to compete in pools. It doesn't happen too often. But, then again, he has only one SCY record left in the 25 to 29 men's age group, and he wasn't going to back away from a line drawn in the sand.

The time to beat was 2:29.46. Both James and Barney are going after the record. You know these duels always start on the blocks. You hear the gun fire, and then the crash. Oftentimes you don't know even know what happened until these things end. You have to wait until the end. This too is the case in this particular story.

Well, both these tough Terps come in under and drop the record: James comes in with a 2:28.85, and Barney --Barney come in with a 2:28.62! Barney gets the draw on Crowder by two-tenths of a second and survives the battle!

And of course, Barney fades from this little melodrama into a red and gold sunset. When he again circles round to the swim meet circuit, we'll never know. But his claim on the record -- at least for this meet -- remains intact. (Insert the whistle from Clint Eastwood's The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly here. And visualize Crowder focused and ready to swim the 200 breast more than two-tenths faster.)

Other big events occurring at the meet include Kelly Bowman's awesome 5:19.80 swim in the 500 free! She not only knocks out Laura Antonietta's 10-year old record, but also busts the 5:20 barrier! A feast accomplished only once before in the women's division by a young Jane Kleine, almost ten year's ago with a 5:15.23! Kelly is now the third Terrapin Master to ever break through that incredibly tough 5:20 500 free barrier, and joins Jane Kleine West and Andy Ellis! (That's faster than a 1:04 per 100 yards pace!) Lately, there's been no resting on old laurels for standing on the team in any event and the 500 free is one of ‘em! Which one of these two upstarts will claim 500 free mantle from the Grande Dame of Distance!

As well at the meet, it appeared that Kelly's distance training might be taking it's toll with respect to the shorter distances because Meredith "Happy" Stakem surpassed Kelly's record time in the 100 free by four tenths of a second! (You don't see many freestylers on the team owning both the sprint free records and the long distance records. Kelly's been one of the few, but Happy's been keeping her on her toes!)

Other quality swims include Emad Elshafei's 57.47 100 fly record in the 35 to 39 year old age group. That record dropped the team's best time, which was set by Michael Lee, by over two seconds! Yes, Emad again leaves Lee in a wake of bubbles! This entire season, Emad's pretty much been a sharp shooter when it comes to records in the 35 to 39 year old age group. He sees a record. He takes careful aim. And, BLAMMO, some record -- often held by Lee -- comes tumbling down and "Slots" Lee ends up looking like a deer in headlights!

After this meet, not much remains as far as records go for Emad in the age group – except for the 100 IM! (There's no foreshadowing here guys!) What will stop the Emad onslaught! When will it end? And who is to be crowned the King of the 100 IM!

He's Ba-ack! The Stealth Shark Curt Reynolds nailed himself a perfect Hat Trick at the meet in the 50, 100, and 200 back events. He bumps Eric "Semi-Show" Nordlund from the 50, Paul Barretts's 1997 100 back time by two-and-a-half seconds, and Steve "King-O" Payne in the 200! I'm sure we'll just start to see people running from the water when they see Curt grace the pool deck!

Last, a very special thank you to Monte Lewis and Jenn Bistrack who both volunteered to drive up and time at the meet. This is what makes meets possible. Thank you.